[ Quotes ]
All our lives we search for someone who makes us complete. We choose partners and change partners. We dance the song of heartbreak and hope all the while,wondering if somewhere,somehow there is someone searching for us.
~~~
Dance as though no one is watching you. Love as though you have never been hurt before. Sing as though no one can hear you. Live as though heaven is on earth.
~~~
Our lives are not determined by what happens to us but by how we react to what happens, not by what life brings to us, but by the attitude we bring to life. A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events, and outcomes. It is a catalyst, a spark that creates extraordinary results.
~~~
Monday, January 31, 2005
xx 12:10 AM xx
Heyo. Figure that my usual secondary friends will probably visit my blog lesser and lesser. It's quite predictable since I'm hardly keeping in contact with people. Friends in secondary school were really hi-and-bye people. However, even though some friends might not be close to me anymore, I know they have my back and vice versa. Some Netball pals and of course my best friends. I think only I feel that way. You know guys, you don't always have to be close to your friends to know they're there. It doesn't mean because you haven't seen that person for a while, you can never count on her anymore. For example, I'm deifinitely not as close to Eddie but I'm sure I and rely on her WHENEVER I need help. You know what I mean? Yea, and Fang, we don't have to be in each others' presence as often for me to know I can count on you. Others like Luddy, Kay and Gris. You know I'm not sentimental. Sometimes it doesn't bother me if we're drifting because no matter how far apart we are, you will never be erased from my mind, nor my heart.
Anyway, I went shopping today. Sigh, I hate shopping. Haha. But am glad I bought a top and several earrings. Yay. Feel a little accomplished. Training tomorrow is going to be B-E-Autiful. How does 6 km sound? Eh? Some one kill me.
Monday, January 24, 2005
xx 12:26 AM xx
Heyo! This LOONG weekend was great! Had more time to rest.
I know this probably sounds really stupid. I'm supposed to make a speech tomorrow in MGS for the prefects' installation. I totally forgotten about it till this afternoon! I was frantic when i realised because I needed to get stuff like AC's blazer, was supposed to inform my subject teachers for my absence before tomorrow and I needed to edit my speech. I can't believe that was happening! Haha. When Ms Bong found out that I haven't borrowed the blazer, she died too. Hha.. I'm still the clumsy ol' Gerry even after headprefectship!
Well, the week ahead will be good if looked at positively. Fitness training tomorrow, sigh.
Ladeeda.. :)
Thursday, January 20, 2005
xx 1:11 AM xx
Talked to my sister about what's been happening in school. Man, I love her. She uncomplicates things. I finally figured out why people think of me that way. Now that we're in a different environment, we have to adapt to certain things. My secondary friends never seen me in this environment before and hence feel that I've changed. I haven't changed, you all are just seeing another side of me which you never gotten the chance to in MG. When I told my sister about people thoughts of me, she said "don't let these conservative people's opinions affect you". My sis could tell that I wasn't exactly happy about how things were coming along and she wants me to have as much fun as she had in JC too. Therefore she made that comment which I totally agree. Why the heck should I get so concerned about others' opinions? I'm being me. Unless you tell me straight what problems you have with me (which I'll take some time to ponder about if necessary), piss off. Telling others your opinions may just influence them to feel the same way to. And that is unfair.
Hehe. Today, school ended early. Went for lunch with Jayne and En-pei. Watched AC-Australian water-polo friendly game. Luddy and Gris joined us. Ladeeda.. Reached home at about 6 and had a 2-hour nap (woohoo). Quite a good day. Finally.
Yupio. Training tomorrow's going to suck.
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
xx 2:28 AM xx
am i accomodating? aw.. that kinda hurt.. actually it really does.. i'll think about it, though. thanks
xx 12:20 AM xx
why the heck is everyone so down?!!
zippedeedooda.. zippedeede.. my oh my, what a wonderful day. plenty of sunshine coming my way. zippedeedooda.. zippedeede..
xx 12:08 AM xx
hmmm.. i realised that in secondary school, i had always wanted things to go my way.. such as others' moves and thoughts... people can't swear.. it's not good. people can't have this attitude cause it's bad.. people must have a mind of their own and not follow blindly cause it's stupid.the way my teammates play netball. actually i'm making examples which i doubt make any sense to you all. basically, i was trying to control everyone. i realised it not long ago. thank god i did. i know my mistakes and i'll try to change. i'm constantly reminding myself that i'm not god.. i'm not perfect. oppositely, i'm screwed out.
i'll try k. will try to change.
i'm also trying to be less strong-headed.. give me time.. i already know i need to put my damn ego aside. just help me change and not stand there expecting much and not helping at all..
yawns. oh yea.. netballers had our AGM last friday and we were given time to say each others' good points as affirmation. Mae Yen was so sweet to say i was nice...yay.. that lighted up my day.. week actually.. at least some ONE thinks i'm nice. everyone else just... ok shut up, gerry.
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
xx 11:44 PM xx
Yea.. My energy level is running low.. But is that really it? Nowadays I'm in no mood to socialise, go crazy or even just talk to people. I think it's mostly because of what happened lah.. from last week.. as i said i'm not angry with anyone though i felt and still feel extremely accused. it's just so depressing lah.. i'm just filled with questions and uncertainty, not anger. my friends.. are they really?.. all i've done was be myself.. everyone just interpreted else wise. i never wanted to be someone else.. why do you all just get all these shit opinions?.. sigh.. sorry.. but just what the shit have i done?
sometimes i DO wonder if it'd be better if i went to HC instead. but everytime i conclude with the answer no. for i know very well, i belong in AC, despite all the crap.
i'm very much drifting from Him too.. and the thing is i'm too un-bothered to try... oh dear.
whatever it is.. i'll always be geraldine, or rather gerry.. trust that i'm satisfied with myself and will remain me. tata
oh yes, one consolation, the weather today was fantastic.
xx 12:19 AM xx
Netball is a team game. Your character affects everyone.
Thursday, January 13, 2005
xx 9:06 PM xx
Hmm. Yes, what a complicated day. Finally broke down. A good sign.
I don't know if I'm starting school in AC well. So many things happened in these 2 weeks. Disappointing as I was really looking forward in taking my mind of some things. But God is good. Sometimes I feel as if I'm losing faith. Just trying to cling as tightly onto it as possible. But, again, God is good.
Trainings have been good. It's quite freaky so many people are getting injured during trainings. It's quite unbelieveable. Prayers, please.
Fang: Hmm.. tempted as I am at times, I know I promised you.
I'm such an attention seeker!!!
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
xx 12:55 AM xx
New year's resolution: Live closely to God's word. Yes, it'll be a 'piece of cake'.
Haha. School this week is really slack. Really enjoy it. But, yes, it'll get worse. I know. My class is a little quiet. Don't think I'm being my crazy self in class, maybe because I've lost my socialising energy during orientation. I don't know, lah. Quite fortunate to have 3 other MG girls in my class - Sihua, Lynette Koh and Yifang. Guys in my class are not all that bad looking (haha), but apparently they're shorter than me. Most of AC guys are anyway, so I better get used to it. Haha. Most probably going to Melbourne in July anyway, so there's not much point looking for cute guys. Oh wellssss... Heheee.. I'm so lethargic nowadays. Bleah. Oh! First training was ok. Phew!
Aiya, sian.. bi bi people!
Thursday, January 06, 2005
xx 2:07 AM xx
Hey all. Yup, I've decided to stay in AC. Eddie says that orientation in HC is horrible. I can't say I'm surprised. Don't get me wrong. I just don't think it's a school for play and fun, that's it. First day of orientation in AC was quite boring due to all the unnecessary talks and speeches. But later in the day and the past two days were great. My OG's great too. Too bad it took us 3 days to warm up to one another. Oh yes, I realised that I'm the only one taking 3 subjects in my OG, I think. Oh, man. Haha. Lifeng saboed me today. She asked for three volunteers to share with everyone their reflections. Obviously no one would wanna go up on stage, right? And she needed a girl after a guy was called up. She asked for a Tricia. Well, apparently there wasn't ANY Tricias (yea, right). So she said:" Is there a Geraldine here? I know a Geraldine". I just stared at Nana and froze. I went up and totally crapped and made a fool outta myself in front of my new cohort. ARGh.. ahaa. Ok.. At least I got my prize. ;)
My OGls are cool too. Vijay and Sam. Vijay's really crappy and he bullys other OGls but is really nice to us. Sam's quite cute. She's those type of sweet, smiley gal. But just with a low voice which I think is pretty sexy. Haha. They're just great, lah.
Am so glad Nette and I are in the same OG. Hehe.
These few days of orientation have lifted my spirits. I guess I just have to keep myself occupied so I won't think too much. I figured that many people who look really funky, enthusiastic and crazy are really not as they seem. They are real messed up inside. They resort to self-mutilation. I know this sounds really strange (maybe cause it's night now and I'm bit unstable haha) but, whoever struggles like that, I care for you. There are probably tons of people out there just struggling with no helping hand. I wanna help whether I know them or not. This sounds kinda crazy, huh? But I can't bare to hear this happening. Even though it's none of my business, it hurts me. Let me do what I can. Don't hurt me by hurting yourself.
Take care people. Graduating class of '04 MGS, hope you guys are doing ok where ever you are. Missing you.
Saturday, January 01, 2005
xx 7:25 PM xx
HIHI! Gerry's soo happy.. I'm so happy.. ELATED! Yay! Yay. Okok, at least I'm trying to be! Hopefully this new year is going much better for you guys.
I think I'm likely to go AC. Though I really wanna go HC too. Sigh.. God help.
