[ Quotes ]
All our lives we search for someone who makes us complete. We choose partners and change partners. We dance the song of heartbreak and hope all the while,wondering if somewhere,somehow there is someone searching for us.
~~~
Dance as though no one is watching you. Love as though you have never been hurt before. Sing as though no one can hear you. Live as though heaven is on earth.
~~~
Our lives are not determined by what happens to us but by how we react to what happens, not by what life brings to us, but by the attitude we bring to life. A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events, and outcomes. It is a catalyst, a spark that creates extraordinary results.
~~~
Monday, August 28, 2006
xx 5:26 PM xx
okays..... so happy to have finished those 3 assignments.. really sucked like crap. but shitte... one mcq test this week and other next.. uni sucks haha.. i thought its damn slack?! yay. got a reply from uni's netball club. well, she emailed a whole bunch of ple actually who are interest.. so i filled in the form n emailed her back.. so just the matter of time now i guess. when they asked for years of experience, i shocked myself with a 7. cant believe it has been this long. n i'm not a least bit sick of it. 7 yrs man.. incredible. this is probably THE love of my life. hokay... i missed like TONS of classes this wk.. thats a LOT of money down the drain. blame it on my assignments. 3 leh!? tmd. watched miami vice yesterday.. not to bad.. just a bit deep. gotta piece the puzzle together.. alright la.. i wanna watch hoodwinked. yay!!! some lovie ones are coming this wk! mmmm!! went ktv two days ago.. sang like siao.. my throat hurts now.. blech.
birthdays are only impt to that person and noone else. seriously.. i dun think ple really care? it's a bit like.. sian.. another bdae to deal w. i hate to b paranoid but ya.. im an insecure person. many times i jus wanna be alone because i dun wanna risk being rejected by ple. y? y do i do this to myself. tht's the reason why i dun tel ple when i'm sad.. not often.. it's like a nagging voice in my head saying.."do u think they really care abt ur problems?" aiyaaaa... heck la... i'm finee. damnn siann leh.. yawns.
Sunday, August 27, 2006
xx 10:17 PM xx
birthdays are only impt to that person and noone else.
seriously.. i dun think ple really care? it's a bit like.. sian.. another bdae to deal w.
i hate to b paranoid but ya.. im an insecure person. many times i jus wanna be alone because i dun wanna risk being rejected by ple. y? y do i do this to myself. tht's the reason why i dun tel ple when i'm sad.. not often.. it's like a nagging voice in my head saying.."do u think they really care abt ur problems?"
aiyaaaa... heck la... i'm finee. damnn siann leh.. yawns.
xx 10:01 PM xx
okays..... so happy to have finished those 3 assignments.. really sucked like crap. but shitte... one mcq test this week and other next.. uni sucks haha.. i thought its damn slack?! yay. got a reply from uni's netball club. well, she emailed a whole bunch of ple actually who are interest.. so i filled in the form n emailed her back.. so just the matter of time now i guess. when they asked for years of experience, i shocked myself with a 7. cant believe it has been this long. n i'm not a least bit sick of it. 7 yrs man.. incredible. this is probably THE love of my life. hokay... i missed like TONS of classes this wk.. thats a LOT of money down the drain. blame it on my assignments. 3 leh!? tmd. watched miami vice yesterday.. not to bad.. just a bit deep. gotta piece the puzzle together.. alright la.. i wanna watch hoodwinked. yay!!! some lovie ones are coming this wk! mmmm!! went ktv two days ago.. sang like siao.. my throat hurts now.. blech.
xx 9:52 PM xx
okays..... so happy to have finished those 3 assignments.. really sucked like crap.
but shitte... one mcq test this week and other next.. uni sucks haha.. i thought its damn slack?!
yay. got a reply from uni's netball club. well, she emailed a whole bunch of ple actually who are interest.. so i filled in the form n emailed her back.. so just the matter of time now i guess.
when they asked for years of experience, i shocked myself with a 7. cant believe it has been this long. n i'm not a least bit sick of it. 7 yrs man.. incredible. this is probably THE love of my life.
hokay... i missed like TONS of classes this wk.. thats a LOT of money down the drain. blame it on my assignments. 3 leh!? tmd.
watched miami vice yesterday.. not to bad.. just a bit deep. gotta piece the puzzle together.. alright la.. i wanna watch hoodwinked.
yay!!! some lovie ones are coming this wk! mmmm!!
went ktv two days ago.. sang like siao.. my throat hurts now.. blech.
xx 9:52 PM xx
okays..... so happy to have finished those 3 assignments.. really sucked like crap.
but shitte... one mcq test this week and other next.. uni sucks haha.. i thought its damn slack?!
yay. got a reply from uni's netball club. well, she emailed a whole bunch of ple actually who are interest.. so i filled in the form n emailed her back.. so just the matter of time now i guess.
when they asked for years of experience, i shocked myself with a 7. cant believe it has been this long. n i'm not a least bit sick of it. 7 yrs man.. incredible. this is probably THE love of my life.
hokay... i missed like TONS of classes this wk.. thats a LOT of money down the drain. blame it on my assignments. 3 leh!? tmd.
watched miami vice yesterday.. not to bad.. just a bit deep. gotta piece the puzzle together.. alright la.. i wanna watch hoodwinked.
yay!!! some lovie ones are coming this wk! mmmm!!
went ktv two days ago.. sang like siao.. my throat hurts now.. blech.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
xx 4:55 PM xx
sometimes. something of great potential comes ur way. n this was all u can ask for n have been seeking for a long time.
but at that time n situation, we can only watch this opportunity slip away helplessly. when ur tied down with other reasons/ple/feelings/fear, that special thing jus gradually fades away.
when ur released out of this suffocation, it's gone. good things don't last. but if u never had it, it doesn't even start.
i may jus b losing that happiness. rephrase: i may jus b losing the possibility of being happy.
back to assignment.
Saturday, August 19, 2006
xx 9:55 PM xx
ok.
today wasn't a bad day. tho not very productive.. at least distracted.
alriggghhtt... ok...
READY! OK!!
wells..i'm going to hav my second dinner soon.. die ar.. so fat.
alright.. tmr.. i'm just going to study.i love studying man.. suddenly haha. i'm so bloody weird..am i like pmsing? no leh... not the time.. but hmm.
i wanna eat icecream.
gosh is this entry necessary? is it random or what man.. just goin a bit crazy. WHOOOOO!!!!!!
xx 1:20 AM xx
omg i'm like skinless la.. meatless man. fucking boneless.
tears of anger. not hurt. tears of anger. there's no forever.
fuck like shit. i didn't even use to swear la. this is wat i've been changed to.
i'm like shivering la.. so so crazy. pls god pls god pls god pls god pls god pls god. thanks for teaching me patience n 2 b more selfless. but this test is so hard.. i cant do it. its so so hard. i dun even wanna think of anything.. i just wanna sit by the beach n cry all the way. i dun want any companion.. i jus wanna be alone.. furthermore, its ur r/s w people that cuz misery. i wanna jus b there.. but nature itself is so beautiful that i dun believe its true. must b some picture or fantasy. cuz there aint anything good in life. everything is black. wait.. it aint black... cuz all this shit are visible.. showcased in front of me.. sumone/sumthing is forcing me to not only watch but enjoy this. i wanna do something for myself.. but i'm seen to be selfish all along.
pls dun ask if i'm ok.. cuz i always lie.
Thursday, August 17, 2006
xx 10:58 PM xx
HEY MANNNNNN
CHECK OUT HTTP://FANG.DMUSIC.COM!!! FANG HAS SOME SONGS UP THERE.. NICE MAN.. GOGO!!
xx 10:13 PM xx
omg.. i cycled to sch today.. first time after so long. i promise i cld hav just fainted la. when ireached the lecture venue, i was SO bloody exhausted. 'twas like 15-20 min ride.. omg.. i thoughtmy stamina cldn't be any worse.. i WAS SO EMBARRASSINGLY WRONG. haha. NETBAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLL!
well. i'm happier cuz ple r concerned bout me. grins. ple like my gals, gor, jboy n justin.. sigh.. sometimes u feel like ur jus carrying this shitload by ur self, u aint. ya.. u r the only one who can carry it, but there r ple by ur side supporting.
BLECH. when will i start on my assignments? gerrryyyyyyy!
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
xx 8:26 PM xx
yes she caught me eye
as i walked on by
she could see from my face
that i was flying high
what day is it?
n in wat month?
this clock's nver seem so alive.
i can't keep up
i can't back down
i've been losing
so much time
xx 8:20 PM xx
it's like some one peeling my skin off.. layer by layer.
its all my fault right? like i duno who that SOMEBODY your refering to...
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHARGAGRHARHJAWRGSRHAGARK
choose them ok? dun choose me ok? keep fucking comparing..
wth...
xx 6:31 PM xx
god help. please. pls pls pls pls pls.
yay.. so happy. can use ipod! but it aint mine... finally hav an mp3.. left mine in sg..
sighh arrrghh!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, August 14, 2006
xx 11:06 PM xx
god
it hurts so bad
rarely anything can stop me from sleeping,es when i'm tired or sleepy. but today, i'm haunted by memories of ac n fatasy of still being a student of it.
the friends i could hav known, the fun, events and netball.
of course the study part is damn jialat.. but i still wish i cld spend two years of my life there. 8 mths wasn't enough. sigh.. so so bad..
the thought of me wearing that bib. that pride of being an ac netballer. n possibility of helping ac win.
it's just so unbelievably bad. i wish i cld b like those who happily go overseas. my best friend n i are like pretty miserable. she had like close to 1 year more in ac than me, n she experienced more things i wish i have. but she ain't any happier.. she misses them too much. we're both indescribably out of our minds today especially.
i'm jst feel like i missed out a period of my life. sometimes i just dream that time rewinded n i'm back in the team or goin into ac.
how to live like that. the pain never ceased a bit. not a bit. the pain is still hereeee!!!! it kills. so bad. its devasting.. i really wanna write in words how i feel.. hopefully this torture can be jus expressed in words n ease my feelings a bit.. but i cant.. it'll take too long to fade... mayb never? i dun wanna sound drama.. but it hasn't changed.. since last year.
xx 8:25 PM xx
OMG. i failed my hazard driving test!!!!!who in the world fails a computer driving test!!!!fainttttt.why can't i type ENTER? i think i'm stuck on this line. hello? aiyo..
xx 12:22 AM xx
FAAAARRRRKKKKK YYOOOUUUU
Saturday, August 12, 2006
xx 6:19 PM xx
BARELY JUSTIFIED - WHILE U WERE SLPING
while u were sleeping
the stars were shining for you
my silent resolution conceals how i feel
while u were sleeping
my world was spinning for u
i wish i cld stay by ur side n tuck u into bed every night
caught in this place where i can hardly breathe
with u around i can do anything
wo betraying wat i feel about u
i try to lie n tell myself wat i feel isn't real
the lyrics are so sweet man..
sigh.. i sucks when u can never have everything u want. if only the world can revolve around just one person. let all of us take turns or something. yea sound selfish right.. but who isn't.. dun u want everythin n everyone to make u happy sometimes? especially when a specific situation is just so impossible to happen.
sometimes, i dun believe in true love. we just really like our partners. we don't love. i dun see it la.. i jus dunno what love means. sometimes its just so, so painful. so exhausting isn't it?
i just noticed i haven't look at the sky for a long time. like raise ur head completely. it feels so.. freee.
Friday, August 11, 2006
xx 9:11 PM xx
there was nothing to say the day she left
just filled a suitcase full of regrets
i held a taxi in the rain
looking for some placve to ease the pain
then like an answered pray
i turned around and saw u there
you realy know where to start
fixing a broken heart
u really know what to do
u emotional tools
can cure any fool
whose dreams have fallen apart
fixing a broken heart
now i dun understand what i'm going thru
there must be a plan that led me to u
because the hurt just disappears
in any moment that u r near
yea
then like answered prayer
u made the loneliness easy to bear
u really know where to start
fixing a broken heart
u really know wat to do
ur emotional tools
can cure any fool
whose dreams have fallen apart
fixinf a broken heart
soon the rain will stop falling baby
i'll forget the past
cuz here we r at last
chorus.
fixing a broken heart.
have tons of typo nowadays in chats n entries.. craze. thousands of assignment to do by next week.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
xx 9:26 PM xx
you are my source and my salvation
nothing compares to u
all of my days
i want to know u more
holy spirit fall down like water
i'm hungry for ur touch
for step i take
i want to know u more
Saturday, August 05, 2006
xx 9:19 PM xx
OMG.. it was like so bloody fun yesterday la. haha i went to henry/sheena's place to place PS2 at night. then we started taking pictures. damn crazy la.. enlarge the collage to look! damn funny!
today was cool la. finally shopped. a bit. went to Kmart to buy 2 tops, 1 black jacket n 1 belt. then went to Direct Factory Outlet (DFO) n bought 2 denim skirts n a red bag. then we went ta eat roti prata.. yummy n fattening. aiya i feel damn fat lehs.. die man
i contacted the netball coach who wasn't going to continue coaching.. she says that an other coach will find a spot for me. sigh. i won't be surprised if i dun play in the end la. damn sian la. can't even do something i love here la. sucks.
well..i'm quite happy nevertheless. but still very confused over a lot of things. a lot of things i just wanna express in blogger but i can't. ple involved read.
life is alright.. i shan't complain. i'm better off.
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
xx 8:22 PM xx
Another random song:
Ghost of u n me
wat m i supposed to do with al these blues
haunting me everywhere
no matter wat i do
watching the candle flicker out in evening glow
i cant let go
when will the night be over
i din't mean to fall in love with u
n baby theres a name for wat u put me thru
it isn't love it's robbery
i'm sleeping w/ the ghost of u n me
seen a lot of broken hearts go sailing
phatom ships lost at sea
n one them is mine
raising my glass i sing a toast to mid night sky
i wonder y
the starts dun seem to guild me
i didn't mean to fall in love w/ u
n baby there's a name for wat u put me thru
it isn't love
its robbery
i'm sleep w/ the ghost of u n me
the ghost of u n me
when will it set me free
i hear the voices call
following footsteps down the hall
trying to save wats left in my
heat n soullll.
..
..
.
.
xx 8:50 AM xx
u know sometimes a specific song jus pops into ur head. a song that follows ur mood.. for me it's more of the tune than the lyrics. here's wat on my head now
i lie awake at night
see things in black n white
i've only got u inside my mind
u know u have made me blind.
i used to write ur name
i put it in a frame
i have all these longings in my heart
... right from the start.
oh my pretty pretty boy
i love u
like i never ever loved no one b4 u
pretty pretty boy oh my
just tell me
you love me too.
oh my pretty pretty boy
i need u, oh my
pretty pretty boy, i do.
let me inside
make me stay right beside u.
may hav gotten some lyrics wrong la.. writing this song off my head
this is like the earliest i'm awake.. haha 8 plus. i'm a pig eh.
still trying to figure out wat i'm meant to do in life. wats the meaning?
oh shit.. my stomach's aching! argh